Chapter 5ii: Mai Pen Rai

Mai Pen Rai (my-pin-lye)

adj., v., n.

It’s okay.  It’s all good.  Nevermind.  No worries.  Doesn’t matter.  It is what it is.  It’s nothing.  Oh well.  Don’t get mad, get glad.  Stuff happens.  Don’t worry.  Just smile.

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95% of the country is Buddhist.  Therefore, 95% of the country will not dwell on something one cannot change.  95% of the country does not know what ‘upset’ means.  Sharing and collaboration replace the American ways of individualism and competition.  The term “mai pen rai” epitomizes this way of life.  It’s a common expression whose meaning is elusive, and trying to completely understand it is the dizzying mental equivalent of eating jello with chopsticks.  Frustrating?  Mai Pen Rai!

On one hand, this is a wonderful philosophy.  Situation is out of your control?  Oh well.  Don’t get mad, get glad.  Stuff happens.  Just smile.  Can’t change it right?

On another hand, this is a terrible philosophy.  Situation is life threatening?  It’s all good.  Don’t worry.  It’s nothing.  Doesn’t matter.  It is what it is.  Just smile.  Can’t change it right?

The country with the highest death rate by motor traffic accidents in all of Asia, and the 6^th highest in the entire world, is one whose people are exceptionally fatalistic.  A higher power is thought to be at work and if you die, well, you were meant to.  Consequently, personal and road safety tend to be low priority for Thais.

• Red traffic light.  Should I stop or should I go?  For a Thai, they’ll likely leave it to a coin flip (with the hand that’s not holding the cell phone, laundry, and bamboo stalk).  As a foreigner, I am taught to gently engage the brakes when approaching an intersection and stop once I arrive at one (more on that below).  Or another car.  Or a pedestrian.  Or wall.  But if there’s a Thai behind you, you’re playing their version of Russian roulette.  Many have no expectation of you stopping, nor any intention of stopping themselves.   You never know who does or who doesn't.  So what do you do?  If you’re on a motorcycle or scooter (which is probably... 95%... of the population, as well), get as far left as you can – as soon as you can.  That could mean the sidewalk or in between tables at a street food vendor.  Mai Pen Rai!

• Tailgating.  Whether there are an eye-popping total of two vehicles on the road or a thousand, and whether their average speed is 120 km/hr or 20 km/hr, traffic is the same:  bumper-to-bumper.  Undeniably one of the more pernicious aspects of road travel, and I have lost count of the number of times my rear view is clear and in seconds, Jeff Gordon’s younger Thai brother, Chanarong, is 4.3 mm from my rear, flashing his lights for me to move over to the shoulder.  This is only a mild exaggeration.  Mai Pen Rai!

• Braking.  The bus driver flips a coin.  Tails.  Okay, he’ll stop at this red light.  But, wait!  It won’t be red when we get there.  Just kidding, sure it will.  Time to slam hard on the brakes!  I don't know the appeal of playing chicken with red lights, but every driver does it.  What results is an unintentional, full body, human wave moving towards the front of the vehicle.  The elderly lady, going home from the market, is now seated on the cracked wooden floor.  Sumalee, the cute 7-11 clerk, has dropped her purse, phone, dinner, and pet dog to grab on to the last remaining overhead hand strap.  Pravat, a member of the Royal Thai Armed Forces, crowdsurfs the university students who are now distraught that their hair has been ruffled and makeup smeared.  The woman fare collector gets knocked down, but she gets back up again.  And the old guy in the back?  “Mai Pen Rai!”